I really wanted to like this book. The writing was great and the beginning really caught me. Arthur was a very interesting person at the start, and his depression was described very well.But then the story went down the drain for me.I didn't like the sexual tension between the father figure and the son of his first love - that felt wrong to me. Then the age difference: A 39 year old and an 18 year old? I don't buy into the "I had a hard childhood and therefore mentally I am MUCH older than my young and sexy body looks like"...the old guy had a hard youth as well, how old does that make him now according to this logic?I think that especially young people who have a unstable or difficult youth are even more vulnerable. I never really believed in this "hard experiences make you more mature and strong". It might be true for some people, but my personal experience with pretty much everybody I ever met, says clearly different. I think it is kind of a nice idea that you get maturity and wisdom out of a shitty childhood, but in real life? I am not so sure. And the relationship doesn't prevail. So the whole "I love you so much, can't live without you" is more or less pointless, because they stay "only" friends in the end. Would have made a better story imo if they didn't fool around with each other in the first place - the whole Daddy-re-live-first love-issue was a bit much, especially with the physical similarities between father and son. I don't know, but in Jeremy's place, I would not feel so special and cherished and loved for myself, if I found out my lover was the first love of my Dad's, whose spitting image I am...As I said, I enjoyed the very good writing (some even poetic phrases in between), but the story and characters were not really interesting to me and hit some sore points with me.