Tami

Just 6% in and I don't want to go on...

"This is the reason I don't do relationships,"  - Really? Really? Then how come you asked your boyfriend of two months to move in with you? If you don't do relationships???

And by the way, the whole betrayal thing would have worked much better, if there was a serious relationship before. Why not make it two years? Just change one word, and there would have been better framework for the "betrayal" and for the moving in as well.

Another gem:

"It stabs swords through your heart " - sorry, but really what guy talks like this in his head? -

"and personally I don't like being hurt" - yeah, well, that of course makes you very unique in the universe as most people totally dig getting hurt - duh -

"nor stabbed for that matter." Bad falling out of the metaphore, bad bad bad.

"I am the type who brushes themselves off quickly and carries on with shit. It's how I've always been and how I'll always be." You know, my experience with people who say shit like this? They are the the most annoying to be around. If you're really tough you don't have to point that out to people.

Followed with a conversation with the hunky pool boy: "My biggest problem is that sometimes I allow myself to trust, when no trust has been earned." Dude, that's not even close to being your biggest problem.

And constantly missing comma before and after addressing someone in direct speach and in other places. Really annoying.

"You really do know how to ride Damien." - "Yep, come on in." I'm proud and impressed that he's impressed. WTF???

The big bad-ass Damien offers the hunky straight pool boy (who loves to cook and is a "walking hard-on") a room in his house because poor Dax has nowhere to stay. That is very original and has never been used in a story before. Sarcasm out.

DNF at 20%